How to Build Strong Connections on LinkedIn Using Dating Advice from Cosmopolitan Magazine

There is a surprising similarity between the rules on dating and how you build connections on LinkedIn.

Who knew that dating advice from Cosmopolitan magazine could be so helpful for understanding how to best connect on LinkedIn?

We didn’t know either, but we wanted to try it … and it worked.

In this 32-minute lively episode, Mica and I use “Cosmo” dating advice to teach you how to build long and lasting connections on LinkedIn. You do not want to miss this one!

• Guidelines on accepting connection requests
• Why you should be actively reaching out to your connections
• Subtle ways to build rapport with potential connections
• Navigating the LinkedIn connection tools
• Why participating in groups is crucial in building connections
• Why authenticity matters

The Show Notes

• Larry Kim: 6 Reasons Why LinkedIn is the New Online Dating Site
• 9 New Dating Rules for Getting the Guy

How to Build Strong Connections on LinkedIn Using Dating Advice from Cosmopolitan Magazine

Voiceover: This is The Missing Link, with your host, the insufferable, but never boring, Sean Jackson.

Sean Jackson: Hello everyone. It’s Sean Jackson, your host, and I am finally rejoined by the cheerful, and truly indispensable, Mica Gadhia. Mica, how are you?

Mica Gadhia: I am so good and I’m glad to be back.

Sean Jackson: We certainly missed you. I’m sure your husband and children enjoyed spending time with you, but damn it Mica, don’t leave me again!

Mica Gadhia: I won’t do it Sean, never.

Sean Jackson: This show is too hard. My poor listeners had me without you there to foil my witty repartee. It was tough. It was hard. Don’t do it again.

Mica Gadhia: It was a great show though.

Sean Jackson: Thank you.

Mica Gadhia: It was a great show, very helpful.

Sean Jackson: Thank you. Well, I am so happy to have you back because as everyone knows you are the voice of the audience. And as the voice of the audience on our show, what is a question that you’re starting to see our people wanting to know more about? So, what should we be talking about this time?

Mica Gadhia: I’m going with how to connect on LinkedIn and all of the different facets of connecting: who to connect with, who not to connect with, etc. That’s what I’m thinking I’d like to see about.

Sean Jackson: How to connect on LinkedIn? That’s probably one of the more interesting topics because there is a finesse that goes with it. So let me pull up on my computer — Larry Kim — do you know Larry Kim from WordStream?

Mica Gadhia: I don’t. Tell me about Larry Kim.

Sean Jackson: Okay, so here’s the thing. Larry Kim, apparently has written this article for inc.com that is titled “6 Reasons LinkedIn Is the New Online Dating Site.” I love Larry.

Mica Gadhia: I talked about connections. I mean, let’s do this.

Sean Jackson: I think that’ll work. I like this article. We’re going to go with it. All right. So basically the idea is that LinkedIn is such a great way to find people that you might as well use it as a dating site as well. And I thought that was a clever twist Larry put together. However, I think it also has applicability to what we are doing on the show, as far as what are some strategies and techniques that can help you connect with people on LinkedIn. Sounds good Mica?

Mica Gadhia: Right.

Sean Jackson: Now here’s the problem though Mica. I have been married for seventeen years. I am not the person to get dating advice from. I’m just not. I’m sorry.

Mica Gadhia: I’ve been married for four. So, hmm.

Sean Jackson: We’re probably not the best for giving modern dating advice. So Mica, where does someone turn for dating advice now?

Mica Gadhia: Oh Cosmopolitan right? Isn’t that where we go? Cosmo?

Sean Jackson: Cosmo? Really?

Mica Gadhia: Yeah.

Sean Jackson: Really? We’re turning to Cosmo for dating advice. Okay, so let me get this episode straight.

Mica Gadhia: I think that’s where we go.

Sean Jackson: Let me get this straight. Based on Larry Kim’s article about using LinkedIn for dating, we’re going to go to Cosmo and find tips on how to connect with people using the dating ideas that they share. Is that basically what we’re talking about.

Mica Gadhia: That’s exactly what we’re talking about Sean.

Sean Jackson: Oh god, our group on LinkedIn is going to go crazy Mica. You understand that right? Our private LinkedIn group is going to go nuts when they listen to this episode. Oh my word.

Mica Gadhia: Let’s just go to the source Sean. We have to connect. Let’s learn how to connect. And Cosmo will be our greatest teacher.

Sean Jackson: I think so. And you know what? Loyal members of our LinkedIn discussion group, please let us know what you think of this episode. So people like Sheryl and Sandy and Lynne, thank you for participating in that group. Putting in all those great questions, suggestions, and post ideas. And Lynne, great job in putting in some case studies there. Right Mica?

Mica Gadhia: Yes, definitely. And success celebrating her.

Sean Jackson: Yes, celebrating. And, of course, Terri asking questions about premium accounts and Sally with some great questions that everyone is learning from. But that’s not all who’s on the group either, is it Mica?

Mica Gadhia: No, there’s so many amazing contributors. Thank you all.

Sean Jackson: We also have a lot of international people. Don’t we Mica?

Mica Gadhia: Yes, looks like we’ve got Barry from Scotland and Roman introduced himself from Brazil — which I’d like to go there.

Sean Jackson: Yeah. Great. There’s Michael and Anil and Bonny and Rosalyn. Just all of these people all over the world joining that private LinkedIn discussion group we have. And guys, I can’t tell you enough — Mica and I truly appreciate your contribution. But you know what Mica, we need more people, don’t we?

Mica Gadhia: Sean, we could always use more in our group.

Sean Jackson: So how can the listeners get to that private LinkedIn group we have?

Mica Gadhia: Well first, if you’re in the continental United States, you can take out your phone and text 41411 and use the keyword ‘mylink,’ without a space. Go ahead, and we will send you an immediate response and an invitation to join our private Missing Link group. If you’re international, please email us at MissingLink@Rainmaker.FM, and we will get you added as quickly as we can.

Sean Jackson: That is absolutely perfect Mica. I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Mica Gadhia: Yes, I’ve been practicing.

Sean Jackson: Well everyone, truly, if you’re listening to the show for the first time or you haven’t taken the chance, come and join our group. Join people like Sheryl, Michael, Barry, Terri, etc., because it’s really a dynamic group. We’re going on a journey together to do LinkedIn marketing correctly. And when we come back from the break, you’re going to want to listen to how we figure out how to use Cosmo dating advice and use it for LinkedIn connections. So go ahead and stay tuned.

Voiceover: The Missing Link is brought to you by the Rainmaker Platform, the complete website solution for content marketers and online entrepreneurs. Find out more and take a free, 14-day test drive at Rainmaker.FM/Platform.

Sean Jackson: We’re back from the break. And Mica, in the break I was researching this Cosmo article you sent me and my wife walks by, looks over my shoulder, and gives me that look that just goes, “really?” So I said, “Honey it’s for work!”

Mica Gadhia: It’s been seventeen years. She’s got to know by now. It’s okay.

Sean Jackson: So, in order to help save my marriage Mica, we better do something with this Cosmo link, otherwise I’m going to have a lot of explaining to do to my wife later. So go ahead and set this up. We’re basically going to Cosmo’s article about modern dating. Correct?

Mica Gadhia: Right.

Sean Jackson: So set this up. We’re going to figure out how to connect it into how do you do connections on LinkedIn.

Mica Gadhia: Okay. So Jessica Massa writes this book, ” The Gaggle: How the Guys You Know Will Help You Find the Love You Want.” She goes in and she’s got “8 Ways to Learn How to Connect.” Now this is for dating, but we’re going to transfer this knowledge over to connections on LinkedIn.

Sean Jackson: Okay Mica.

Mica Gadhia: It’s what we’re gonna do Sean.

Sean Jackson: All right. Why don’t you read what she has in that little excerpt and then let me figure out how I can connect the dots.

Mica Gadhia: So the first one is: “Think of every guy as part of your gaggle.” Now I always thought gaggles were ducks, so I’m not quite sure about this one. Everyone is part of your gaggle. Talk about that on LinkedIn, as far as all the people in our communities, in our groups and discussions, and things of that sort.

Sean Jackson: Yeah, I think that’s a good one because this question comes up a lot. Right?

Mica Gadhia: Right.

Sean Jackson: Instead of the word gaggle, you can use the word tribe. Think of everybody as part of your tribe. I think if you use that tribe metaphor or the gaggle metaphor, it really means are they a part of your ecosystem online. Are they part of your business connections? Are they a part of the universe of people that you want to be talking to?

Guidelines on Accepting Connection Requests

Sean Jackson: For instance, I do not accept every connection request that I get because oftentimes I don’t know them. So if I don’t know them, I tend to be fairly hesitant to make that connection request with them. Or, it could be somebody that I do want to know, and sometimes I will blindly take them because it is somebody that I’d like to connect with in the future. But I think you do have to filter those connection requests. I do think that you have to sit there and think a little bit about those connection requests that come in. If they don’t have a picture — rule of thumb — don’t accept them as a connection.

So just take your time to really consider, “Does this person know me? Do I know them? Is that a good connection or is it somebody that I would like to connect with?” But I would probably advise against just connecting with anybody who sends a random request, only because it will not help you in the long run. Remember, a lot of building connections is with people that know, like, and trust you, and a random person who just would connect may not already have that as a background. Make sense Mica?

Mica Gadhia: Yeah it does. What would you think about if they’re in the same niche as you.

Sean Jackson: Well quite frankly, again, “Do I want to know them or are they just connecting with me because I randomly came up because we’re mutually connected maybe with somebody?” I think you have to filter through. I mean, my personal feeling is no. Even if they’re in the same niche I probably don’t connect with them unless I know them or I really want to know them. Meaning, I will connect and take the time to get to know them. Does that make sense?

Mica Gadhia: Okay.

Sean Jackson: Now I will give you the opposite of that, which is, “I’m trying to build a giant lead list network and I want to take everybody who comes in because I’m just going to spam the heck out of them at some point.” If that’s the way you do it, then take everybody who comes in. But I think it kind of goes to the whole concept of dating in general, right? Just because a guy looks your way doesn’t necessarily mean you want to go on a date with him.

Mica Gadhia: Exactly. Yeah, that’s true. You have to look at age. You have to look at gender. You have to look at all of the different demographics of who you’re wanting to date.

Sean Jackson: So go ahead and tell me the next point Jessica makes.

Mica Gadhia: All right. So the next one is: “Don’t wait for a date.” She said everything and nothing is a date. So for this one I was wondering, what about connecting through birthdays and anniversaries and the more personal areas that are always introduced on LinkedIn?

Why You Should Be Actively Reaching out to Your Connections

Sean Jackson: That’s a great one, because you get those recommendations that come up right? Connect with someone further. It’s their work anniversary, it’s their birthday, etc. Yeah, I absolutely believe this. Don’t wait for a date. Meaning, don’t wait for people to reach out to you, you reach out to them. And I think that’s definitely an operating rule both in dating and in connecting with people on LinkedIn. Is that you should be proactive reaching out to people.

It could be that they’re celebrating an anniversary. It could be that they just posted an update that you found really useful and you wanted to comment and let them know. I think that at the end of the day it is about building a relationship online with someone. And an easy way to do that is to find something that they are doing and comment on it in a very positive and giving way. So if they put an update out, they put a post out, they have a work anniversary — always be looking for ways to find a chance to compliment them or to be facilitating a conversation that is about something they’re doing. Right?

Mica Gadhia: Right.

Sean Jackson: I think it’s always good in a date when you let them talk more and compliment them than when you’re doing all the talking.

Mica Gadhia: Right. Listen.

Sean Jackson: That’s right. Huh, what did you say?

Mica Gadhia: You’re right. Did you like that?

Sean Jackson: All right, what else does Jessica say?

Mica Gadhia: All right, the next one is: “Use your computer,” which is very funny because we’re on LinkedIn. We’re already on the technology thing. But she does say, “If you hear a song that you think your partner might like, send it to them.” So my question on this one is, what do we send to people that we want to connect with? What’s a good rule of thumb for, “I really like this person. I want to connect with them. I think that we can do business. What do I do?”

Subtle Ways to Build Rapport with Potential Connections

Sean Jackson: This is a really powerful way to continue to introduce yourself to new people. I love it when you have a white paper or you have something free that is available out that there that is a real resource, not a promotional piece. Not something that says, “this is how we’re better than everybody else,” but something that has real value — real stats. People love stats about their industry, about their audience.

I think if you have content that you have produced or content that you have curated, absolutely go out there and send them a InMail, which is part of LinkedIn. Say, “I was thinking of you when I was reading this, thought you would find it useful.” Something along those lines. Because really the dating advice she’s giving is, “when you find something out there send them this resource,” is absolutely true in LinkedIn. There are many times when I’m looking at something and I’ll be thinking, “this may apply to XYZ.”

Well, go ahead and send them the link to it and say, “I was thinking about you.” I think that’s the key word — I was thinking about you — because then it provides a huge amount of personalization and it says “I really care about what you are doing, and I thought this information — stats, research, industry information, maybe just something funny about what it’s like to work in the modern world.” Those type of things are absolutely shareable content. And a great way to use that InMail capability is not to promote yourself but to say, “I was thinking of you. Here is the link.” Send it to them. What do you think?

Mica Gadhia: I love that and it’s so kind. “I was thinking about you” just feels good.

Sean Jackson: Yeah.

Mica Gadhia: I mean it really does feel good.

Sean Jackson: Of course.

Mica Gadhia: So our next one — and I’m hoping that you’ll give us a little bit of information here. The next one is about, “If you want to hook up, just do it.” That’s what we’re talking about.

Sean Jackson: Are we really? Really?

Mica Gadhia: I’m not even kidding Sean Jackson.

Sean Jackson: Dating has changed from when I was single, I’m just saying. So if you want to hook up, just do it.

Mica Gadhia: It was her fourth suggestion here. I was hoping you could explain a little bit more about the envelope with messages in the upper right-hand corner of the LinkedIn dashboard. The envelope, the flag for notifications, and then the silhouette with the plus sign, which is for ‘add connections.’ Can you explain a little bit about each of those for our beautiful audience?

Navigating the LinkedIn Connection Tools

Sean Jackson: Yes. So, here’s the thing. Basically, we’ll take this point as if you want to connect with people — go forth and connect — I like that better than hooking up. When you’re looking at how you reach out to people, certainly there are a couple of resources. Mica indicated up in the right-hand side of your LinkedIn portal view, you’re going to have several icons up there.

So those icons, the first one is an envelope — this takes you to your messaging. These are messages that people send you. By default, if you go ahead and click on it, it shows you a little mouseover. It shows you a little summary of it. I always tend to go to where it says ‘message,’ which is right below that little envelope over to the left so I can fully read what somebody has to say. I don’t like the snippet view, quite frankly. I think to really understand if somebody has got some meaningful data, you have to go where it says messages.

The flag — which is to the right of the envelope in the upper right-hand side — these are things that people are doing that are related to you. Contacts that are publishing things on the Pulse Network. Discussion groups that people are commenting on that you belong to. These are things where your connections or groups are doing some action and it’s notifying you. Always like to check in with that. In fact, that’s probably one of my favorite features up there.

Trying to find connections with people is that — “Oh, you just posted this story on Pulse. I want to give you a compliment so I’m going to reach out to you.” Remember about that previous point that you made. Again, these are good ways to facilitate a conversation by looking at that little alert flag, finding what your connections are doing, and then coming back and liking them, adding comments, sending them an email.

The third one is, of course, the little person with a plus sign. Now let me tell you, I hate the way this is displayed. Just off the bat, I hate it. Because it’s so easy for me to click the decline, ‘X’ thing next to a person’s name. Sometimes people actually may have sent a detailed invitation to me and it doesn’t always show when I’m looking at this view.

So, let me give you the tip that I like. When you go over the plus sign person there, that third icon (you’ll see that when you mouseover), there’s a little ‘see all’ — use that instead. That, I think instead is better than this little … because it’s just too easy to quickly accept or decline. And sometimes if it’s somebody that I may want to know more about that I don’t know, I will definitely use see all to see if they sent me more of a message. “Hey I met you at this event, really enjoyed talking to you, liked your show, etc.”

Or, if they’re people that I already know, then of course, I’ll accept them. People that you know already — that you’ve known forever — it’s easy. But I usually like the ‘see all.’ If you’re going to hook up, just do it. If you’re going to connect, just do it. Insofar as you follow the rules we talked about. Connecting with people you know. Connecting with people that you would like to know. And are willing to spend the time to foster a relationship with them by sending them things — complimentary — helping add value to the relationship. Make sense?

Mica Gadhia: Yes, thank you. That was helpful.

Sean Jackson: All right. What next?

Mica Gadhia: Our next one is to “Be open,” and she writes, “instead of trying to micromanage.” I’m substituting your LinkedIn life. “Create open spots for connections — planned or unplanned — to fill.”

Sean Jackson: I want to tell a story. A friend of mine who has been in sales his entire life and uses LinkedIn quite aggressively, what he does is he randomly sends people that he has not talked to in over six months an email. An InMail, saying, “Hey, I was thinking of you. Would you like to get together and have coffee or just to catch up? I want to hear what’s happening in your world.”

I love that because he is basically doing — sometimes he’ll just say, “Hey, can I give you a call and catch up?” He’s not trying to sell me anything. What he is trying to do is say, “You’re a friend of mine. I would like to know what’s happening in your world.” And again, through the spirit of reciprocity, by doing that he feels that people will keep him top of mind when they need his particular services.

So when it says “be open,” what I really think about that is going into your contacts that you’ve had for a while, that you have not talked to and sending that email and saying “How are you doing, what’s happening in your world?” Or “Hey, would you like to grab some coffee?” Or, “Hey I haven’t talked to you in a while, can we pick up the phone and just have a chat?” “Be open” is more about being receptive to what other people in your network are doing and taking the time to reach out and find out what they’re doing. Especially people you haven’t talked to in a while.

Mica Gadhia: Right, so rekindling those old connections.

Sean Jackson: Exactly.

Mica Gadhia: Even if you haven’t — because I think that several of our audience members started with LinkedIn and then got frustrated. And now we’re helping to bring this platform back to them. And so they are having to rekindle and restart all of those connections.

Sean Jackson: Agreed. And it’s a good time, because trust me, there is nothing that leads to more opportunities in meeting people that already know you, hopefully like you, and possibly trust you, and reaching out and saying, “I haven’t talked to you in a while, I want to hear what’s happening in your world because I miss talking to you.” That’s a powerful way to rekindle connections on LinkedIn.

Mica Gadhia: Yep. All right, the next one: “Explore things with your friends” or your connections. I want to share this is very interesting. I ran track for many years, and I had someone connect with me through track and it felt really good.

Why Participating in Groups Is Crucial in Building Connections

Sean Jackson: Right, it does. And I think this goes to groups too, because it’s where your interests are. If you are in a running group or an alumni group or the private super secret Missing Link discussion group, I think that’s really what it comes down to, is to explore things with your friends. Basically finding the activities that are in those groups that people are doing and participating in them.

Let me be a little bit more specific. I love using advanced search for seeing people who are in the space and then researching those people to find the groups they belong to. In fact, that was the discussion we had on our discussion group, about how to use that advanced search feature to go in and see what your target prospects are participating in through the LinkedIn network — what groups specifically. And then go and join those groups. If you start to see 10 or 20 of your target prospects are actually in group X, maybe you should go and be in group X and start participating.

If you listen to that very fun episode we did with Jabez LeBret about how to participate in them, you can really start to connect to people through groups. Especially if they are your target audience that you would like to build relationships with further.

Mica Gadhia: Next, it says: “But get them alone.” So that’s where you have to look at your chemistry right?

Sean Jackson: Basically. Gosh, modern dating again! If you’ve been using groups and you start to build relationships with people in those groups, yes, the idea is to get them alone. To start to have a conversation independent of the group that you are participating in where you are trying to build that relationship. And that, I think, takes a little bit of finesse. You don’t want it to be creepy. “Hey you want to get alone together?”

Mica Gadhia: I was just going to say — how do you do that Sean? How do you get them alone on LinkedIn?

Sean Jackson: I think what you do is you start to use that email capability. I think the first step is, if you’re not directly connected with them then say, “Hey I’ve enjoyed our time together in group. I like the discussions. Can we connect?” That way you start the process by actually sending them a connection request. “I really enjoy your conversations or discussions that we’ve been having in this group together. I’d like to connect with you.”

Pending that they connect with you, then it is again using those principals of taking information and sharing it with them, “Hey, I really like the discussion you did. Here is some information that may compliment what you were talking about.” By the way, you can do it as an intro to get the connection or post-connection. So if you are trying to get connected with somebody and they keep on ignoring that, then send them an InMail and say, “I saw this resource. It totally corresponds to what you are talking about in this group, I think it would be of value to you.” And you may find again that it is a great way to open up the door.

Or if they do accept your connection, it’s a great way to start that conversation because now you’ve sent them something. And in the spirit of reciprocity, they will come back and when you ask, “Hey I would like to have a phone call or coffee.” Or, “Hey, I’d like to email you to learn more about what you do at XYZ company.” These are all ways of opening doors up, and that’s the idea of getting them alone, is to really start that one-to-one communication.

Mica Gadhia: I love that. Our next one is one of my favorites, it’s “Staying true to you.” I always think of the word authenticity. I would love to hear more about — if these groups aren’t my interest, how do I do that?

Why Authenticity Matters

Sean Jackson: Well I think that’s very good advice, to always be true to yourself. And more than likely your prospects or your target audience are going to be involved in groups that you probably have some relationship to already. I mean, it’s weird that 10 people are all runners together and you’re not a runner. More than likely, if they’re in a group on LinkedIn they’re probably in a random assortment. But there will be three or four that are probably industry specific, or something that you would have some expertise in or some interest in.

The key though is not to try to pretend to be something that you’re not. If everybody’s a runner and you don’t run, don’t pretend like you do. I don’t play golf, so I’m not going to say, “Let’s go on the course together.” That’s just not who I am. So I think it is true to be authentic, to be yourself. Which also means don’t be a poser. For international people in England, they know what a poser is. Don’t be a poser. Don’t be somebody who is trying to be more than what they are or trying to be a little bit arrogant.

Just be a real true human being and show yourself in your profile to be genuine. Which is why I think those headlines are important. And when you’re talking to someone — because it’s so easy to spot a phony when it’s like, “Hey I really think you’re great and blah blah blah.” It just sounds weird. Just be true to yourself, which is authentic. Being somebody that is genuinely interested in making new connections, but doing so in a way that benefits both parties.

Mica Gadhia: Right. And then I think everybody on this podcast is an intelligent business-focused person, so there’s no pretending needed.

Sean Jackson: Right, what is the last one?

Mica Gadhia: The final one is: “Understanding their motives.” And she found that millennial men — our connections — are still figuring out their futures, careers, and identity, and many of them don’t want to make a move until they’re ready.

Sean Jackson: Yes. That’s very true on LinkedIn, by the way, because people are usually in some state of transition. Their work generally will take up all their time. Or maybe they’re trying to find new work. That’s often the case, that people may be looking for new opportunities out there.

I think this goes to a couple of points. First off is you really do want to spend time understanding your target audience. This again goes back to that advanced search feature, really finding out what their interests are. Understand what motivates them. Maybe they’ve been in their career for a long time. Maybe they’ve been bouncing around. I think the more that you can do to research someone before you connect with them is absolutely paramount because it can change the way you send that initial connection request.

If they’ve been at XYZ company for a long time, maybe say, “I’ve been a huge fan of this company and I would really love to connect with you because I’ve admired the work that you’ve done for it.” If it’s true, then certainly put that in. If it’s not true. Let’s say it is somebody that you don’t necessarily know their work, etc., then I would come through and just be honest and say, “Look, I really appreciate what you have been doing in your career. I see that you worked at X, I also worked at X. I’d like to connect with you.”

And the reason, again, is that their profiles often can you show you common points of interest. And I think this is where you really spending your time researching to find those common points of interest will help you when you’re trying to send a blind connection request. For example, I’ve been with DFW search engine marketing association for a long time. People who meet me through that group, if they reference that when they send me a connection request, almost always I will connect with them because we have a point of commonality. They’re members, I’m a member, etc.

I really think that, at the end of the day, it is researching the audience that you’re trying to connect with. Find those points of commonality. Use those points of commonality in your connection request to them. If that doesn’t necessarily work, start sending them information that you think would be valuable based on your research of their profile, their career, their interest, the work that they’ve done.

Mica Gadhia: Now how much time is this taking Sean?

Sean Jackson: Well, it can take a lot of time.

Mica Gadhia: I was going to say. I mean, that’s a lot of research if you are looking at individuals and you have to drill down into their profiles. What’s your recommendation?

Sean Jackson: I think you are very selective with your time. At the same token, you want to have a large network of people that know, like, and trust you. So it does take time, but it doesn’t take as much time as you think. Let me tell you why. It’s kind of like when you’re dating. Most of the time people tend to work out a little bit. They get in really good shape for when they go out on a date. Right?

Mica Gadhia: Right.

Sean Jackson: So when you’re working out, do you spend all day working out? Of course not. What I would say, and I did this for a long time, is I would take 45 minutes of your day tops ( which is not a lot), and just go in and finding serious connections with people. First, start with the people that already know you. Going back and revisiting those connections. “Hey, I’d like to catch up, haven’t heard from you in a while.” Or, “Hey, I was thinking of you when I read this, would like to send this article to you.” I would spend part of that 45 minutes doing that, and then I would spend the rest of the 45 minutes going around to the groups that I belong to. Start seeing if there are people there that I connect with, with a common point of interest. And then finally brand new connection requests. People that don’t necessarily know me. Spend a little time doing that.

So in a 45-minute segment you can actually get a lot accomplished. Between connecting with people that you’ve known before, going to groups that you participate in and trying to connect with those group participants that you again have something in common with, and then finally brand new requests to people to who you’ve done some research on. You understand their profile a little bit more and send them a meaningful connection request. I think if you do that 45 minutes, five days a week — I think the reality will be that it doesn’t really seem like it’s taking that much time to do.

Mica Gadhia: Right. And you’ll obviously get better at it and quicker at it, and then you’ll know exactly what you are looking for as soon as you develop some connections that are actually working for you as well.

Sean Jackson: Absolutely.

Mica Gadhia: You know, converting.

Sean Jackson: So Mica, does that cover Jessica Massa’s dating tips and how they applied to LinkedIn?

Mica Gadhia: It does. I’m feeling good about this.

Sean Jackson: Boy, that was a challenge, I’m sitting here sweating a little bit folks. Trying to take dating advice and apply it to LinkedIn is a challenge. And of course we want to know what you think. So take out that phone. If you are in the continental United States, send a text to 41411 with the word ‘mylink,’ all one word. Or, if you’re international send us an email to MissingLink@Rainmaker.FM. We will get you an invite to that private LinkedIn discussion group. And you can then chime in to see if this episode really met the challenge or did we completely miss the mark. Right Mica?

Mica Gadhia: Yes, and we would love for you to join us with our crazy antics over here.

Sean Jackson: Exactly.

Mica Gadhia: But I think it was perfect. I really do think that there was a perfect analogy — perfect cross-reference — from dating and connecting on LinkedIn.

Sean Jackson: I think you’re right.

Mica Gadhia: I think it worked. You’re a genius Sean.

Sean Jackson: It’s only because you’re back on the show Mica. I sound so much better when you’re here. All right everybody, we can’t thank you enough. I hope to see you online on our private LinkedIn group. Of course stay tuned for the next episode of The Missing Link. Take care.

Mica Gadhia: Thank you everybody.

Voiceover: You have just experienced The Missing Link, exclusively on Rainmaker.FM.